Road And Sky OR How Did I Get Here This Time???

Road:

I think the word is apathy...

Maybe quiet reservation...

At this point, I cannot say I really know.

I decided to try and fast today...

I am fasting spoken words, and only responding when spoken to so as not to seem/be rude.

I have spoken maybe 20 words including the conversation with my son because it was his designated day to call me. Less than 5 minutes, mostly his voice.

I am pretty sure the drugs are out of my system, but I still feel some of the leftovers.

Tremors, nervousness, slight nausea, etc.

I cannot say my lack of appetite is from the drugs...

I believe that is more of an emotional response.

Some words:-

Police and deputies: counterfeit, forgery, felony, fit the description, No one could believe that story you are telling. Are you being a wise ass? I said don't stop for water or speak, can you not hear? (The level of misc loud sound was almost deafening coming off of the walls like being in a bathroom. I heard him say nothing.)

Cellmate: I'm detoxing from heroin (only after he had been locked up 3 days prior).That's where I puked because I haven't been able to keep food down for 3 days (four pitchers full, and a red toxic waste marked bag full of rancid piss under my "boat)

Oh, Medicine time at CADC... They had me on the medicine list, I later found out, as John Doe #2.

When I asked about the pills they not only made me take, but had a deputy shine a light in my mouth telling me if I didn't swallow them, he would make me.

When I asked what they were for, as I informed them of my arthritis and diabetes, They told me it was to help with my detox by calming me down, yada yada yada.

I said, "Detoxing from what, insulin, tramadol (arthritis med), or what? No Answer.

There is so much more I could say and elaborate about and perhaps I will at another time...

For now this is all I can bring myself to share in this format.

As I said to my brother in a letter I sent him, "I miss you and I wish I could tell you how I feel but I can't seem to express it. So many things in my life have gone so wrong and the only thing I really have to hang on to are the promises of God.

Unfortunately, God works on His timing."

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